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Of Crutches and Graveyards


Oswald Chambers once said: “Deliverance from sin is not deliverance from our human nature.”

Wise words.

In the days we are living in, those of apostasy on every hand, spiritual ‘chaos’ taking place in the heaven-lies above and around us, not seen but sensed in our spirit man, its not difficult to find ourselves reverting back to our old man–that of our very human nature. After all, at our new birth it was our spirit man who was redeemed; we still await the redemption of the body…and all the body represents. The feelings, emotions, etc.

We may even begin to believe, during these seasons, that God is no longer here, or that we have been abandoned to the evils which appear on many days to threaten our very sanity.

Nothing could be further from the truth….

For if we continue to walk each day by faith, as hard as that may be, God is still working ‘a work’ within us…though it may not always be a work which is readily evident. It may in fact appear as though we are being destroyed!

I was 32 when I came to Jesus. Which means for 32 years I had lived out in sin, having another ‘master’ who this body and soul obeyed. That’s a long time to pick up bad habits and for bad or even evil patterns to become ‘set’ into my life. In most instances these habits or patterns became a part of ‘me’…in fact they WERE me!

When we come to Jesus, some of those patterns or habits–which are actually bondages in most cases, can still remain deeply hidden away within the heart, waiting for a time of weakness or extreme stress to once again ‘rise up’ to manifest themselves.

They don’t die easily.

Its been almost 27 years since I was born again and received Jesus into my life, and the battle still rages.

Have some of those habits and patterns died? Sure…many have.

But like old ‘friends’ I’ll still find myself wandering into the grave-yard where they found their fate, and standing over their graves, missing them. Perhaps even attempting a little ‘resurrection’ dance….cause see, there are still instances I find myself in, in which I want them back.

After all, they were a part of me for a great part of my life; a part of me!

They were my crutches.

If someone did me wrong, fine…let old ‘anger and bitterness’ take over for awhile! That’ll show them.

If I was hurt? Up would pop self pity, and the party would begin.

Even in my case, if someone offered love or friendship, up would that wall come, to keep them out. After all, ‘I’d tell myself’ who wants to be hurt again?’

We all have these built in crutches…some of us have more then others. Why?

Because we had years to develope them, and to learn to depend on them, before coming to Christ.

Where am I going in this ‘seemingly scattered post of musings?’

Its just this…..even in our most darkest of times when God appears to be far away, or the days seem filled with despair or depression, God is still working on us…working to reveal these hidden crutches through the circumstances brought about in our lives.

He wants them dead and buried. (minus the trips to visit them in the spiritual grave-yard LOL!)

Some years ago, I came upon a poem titled ‘Me against Me’..wish I had kept it or could find it again. But I do recall the gist of it.

It centered around one Christians trip into the wilderness in which he battled himself. The two natures fighting against each other. And of the temporary grief that came about, each time a part of that old ‘man’ (nature) was over-come by the new man.

Grief?

Yes grief. Because it was in actuality, a grieving over what had been a part of the person. A part of himself.

But as stated, it was only a temporary grieving…for very shortly that ‘place’ in which this old part, or crutch had lived, was transformed by the light of Christ which would flood it!

Less of the old self, more of Him.

But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2Cor.3

So take heart! The season may appear fruitless or even dark, but God through His Holy Spirit is still working in our inner man. The old human nature may appear to gain the upper hand at times, but never fear…for if you and I continue to take each step by faith daily, even if it be baby steps, the old human nature will find it self, and each and every crutch with it, in that eternal grave yard sooner or later. Yes it hurts…

But in the end it will be worth it.

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