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Company Offering Free AK-47s for People Opening New Accounts


 What can I say….

Do you happen to need an AK-47, as well as a company to process your credit card transactions? If so, that would make today your lucky day, strangely enough.

MerchantService.com — a Sarasota-based company that provides the equipment and processing for credit-card transactions in businesses — announced its “Free AK-47 Giveaway” yesterday, offering an AK-47 worth up to $750 for new accounts based on how much credit-card processing volume businesses put through the company.

Under the banner on its website that says “God, Guns & Guts” as part of the company’s “No Victims” campaign, the company is promoting its services to protect against robberies and such, and apparently assault rifles fit the bill:

One of the most important steps toward ensuring you and your businesses well being is deciding to not be a victim. According to a survey conducted by Professors James D. Wright and Peter H. Rossi, 56% of the felons surveyed agreed that “A criminal is not going to mess around with a victim he knows is armed with a gun;” With the all of violence and crime in the US there are many things merchants can do in order to protect themselves in the future. 

The website also uses a song that claims “I got rights” — not the Hank Williams Jr. “I’ve Got Rights” — and includes the lyrics “the Good Book says, I got rights.”

For the $750 AK, you’re going to need to open an account for 15 or more stores and do more than $1 million in volume. If you do less, the company still offers smaller payouts toward the purchase of your new assault rifle, down to $50 for one store and $100,000 in volume.

Source, Broward-Palm Beach

 

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